Learn to ride a bicycle. You will not regret it if you live.


Mark Twain again? You bet. He knew what he was talking about... especially when it comes to riding a bike in Amsterdam.

Cycling: It is a way of life here in the in the Dam. It is the most efficient and prominent way of getting around the city. It is a must do while spending your days breezing by canals, stuffing
                                                     your face with stroopwaffle, stopping in the shops along the way. It does, however, come with heart palpitations and shortness of breath upon learning. You may sport a size-too-small spandex and have a helmet collection but that does not mean you are equipped for the Amsterdam bike lane.


I've been forcing myself to cycle a bit every day. Get to know the tricks of the trade and flow of the traffic. Each day I hop on Meester Hercules. He is a beauty, a gem, my companion. 


The key: never stop cycling. The Dutch do not cruise, they ride hard and fast. You must ride as though you are riding your fantasy fling, engaging in the most intense sexual encounter of you could ever imagine experiencing. Your bicycle is your mistress. It will open up all your senses, heightening your awareness of the walkers, cyclists, motorbikes, trams, cars, trucks, and buses. You are vulnerable to all that you blaze by. There's no room for daydreams or side thoughts. REMAIN FOCUSED AT ALL TIMES. Look left- right- again- again- in front- behind. 

The secret: BE FEARED. Be the cyclist that terrified you on your first walk around Amsterdam. Ring your bell till your thumb is sore at all the elderly tour groups unloading their buses. Don't dare let a tourist think they can jet out in front of you. Own the road and look as though you exactly what you are doing, even if you haven't the slightest clue. Put your game face on and look the part and not a soul will suspect your pounding heart and sweaty palms.


So hop on, channel your inner lone-wolf pack, and make some Chinese tour group scream. You will not regret it if you live. 

Comments

  1. MontyApril 18, 2011 at 7:51 AM

    I'm on a bike and,
    it's going fast and,
    KTS at my six - we ridin' the Dam

    ReplyDelete

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