People inspire you or they drain you- pick them wisely…

My mother and I always laugh about how we don’t quite enjoy most people. I love mankind… it’s people I can’t stand! I mean, when you encounter enough people who disappoint you and fail to meet basic human expectations, it’s hard to feel otherwise. Still, we enter each new meeting with an open heart and mind.

Our skepticism comes with a great benefit though; it has paved the way for top-notch quality, relationships of high caliber. The people we keep are as good as it gets and are loved to the fullest, with our whole hearts.

Quality over quantity.

However, when it comes to my actual quote-on-quote love life, there seems to be a disconnect somewhere in the quality control department. Dating and relationships don’t come often as plans are ever-changing, goals far more prioritized, expectations quite high, and wants crystal clear. When my sister asked me about my dream wedding, I came up blank. I don’t think about that… I should first deal with meeting someone that is actual marriage material before dreaming and scheming up wedding plans. It’s certainly not inevitable. But if it does occur, I’m sure sunflowers will be involved to some degree.

One thing I have been clear on though is what I am determined to get out of life: BIG beautiful dreams that cause me sit back on a rocking chair many moons from now, absolutely exhausted from the amount of living I’ve done. So when it comes to a partner in life, I simply want someone who will hold my hand and join in on those big beautiful dreams. I want to pick the kind of person that not only inspires me, but dares me to dream BIGGER.

Despite knowing this, every so often (and perhaps far too often), I let my guard down and take a chance on someone who does not quite fit the standards I hold but makes me feel something that throws me off, confuses me, and leaves me thinking… well, perhaps…?

PERHAPS. What a laugh. Oh, perhaps, you have disappointed me, hurt me, and at times, got the best of me. Even so, you’ve never failed to educate me, strengthen me, and have me turn up a bit better than before.

In my many Let-My-Standards-Down lessons, I have learned many a thing including:

1. “Call you back in 5 minutes,” does not and should not translate to “Call you back in 24 hours.”

2. A man that tells you he loves you on the second date is likely to turn up married 7 months later… not engaged, FULL-BLOWN MARRIED.

3. Spanglish mixed with randomized Portuguese is not the language of love.

4. Men that send photos of themselves in front of strip clubs and/or half-naked women when you are upset with them (or ever, really) are missing something upstairs. 

5. “It is what it is” is not an appropriate response to an argument.

6. If someone truly wants to make time for you, they will.

7. Partners are meant to fit in to one another’s lives, not compromise them.

8. Social media is dangerous.

9. A good chunk of men that live on rocks and approach you are likely to already be married, in a relationship, or corralling a herd of side chicks.

10. Men who send I like you- from you know who notes across the bar are still in the process of developing their set of balls.

11. Men who enjoy the same boy bands as your teenage sister are often on a different maturity level than you.

12. Someone who cares for you will not only remember, but will prioritize a promise they’ve made to you.

13. Commitment phobes will eventually disappear into thin air, most likely when things are at their best.

14. Communication is the foundation of every relationship. It’s basic. Anyone who fails to see so isn’t meant to be in a relationship in the first place.

15. And the most important Let-My-Standards-Down lesson? Don’t let your standards down fool! They have been set in place for a reason. You’ve done a damn good job at encountering and hanging on to the highest-caliber of humankind, why waste time on anything short of that? After all, you’re one helluva catch with a whole lot to offer and too much to accomplish to waste time on those who are below standard.

Having said all that, I’d like to think that there will not be another occasion where I let my standards down, however, I cannot guarantee that. What I do know is that if it does happen, a lesson will be learned and I will grow into a wiser, stronger, more confident version of myself from it.