What's next? What's now?

“Maybe we’re just missing things we’ve lost, or hoping for what we want to come.” 

This time a year ago life seemed so humdrum. I spent my time fiddling with wine corks, serving martinis to many a middle aged man in a business suit. Photos were scarce, left behind at uni and adventures abroad. My mind lingered on foreign flings and hostel romances full of accents and fleeting time. I looked ahead to the future, working the dreadful January shifts that lagged on. Work meant money, money for the next great escape. I was living for a future that seemed so much more appealing than what was right in front of me. 

January 23rd, 2011, I told Dana about a project I noticed popping up on Facebook pages, photo albums labeled "365." The concept sounded great, daily life depicted through photos for an entire year. 365 to flip through, recount, pinpoint with places, outfits, people, moments, and meals. It was the perfect project, only my daily life seemed to lack the splendor, the subject for picture perfect documentation. 

As we sat on the Ikea couch, Dana grabbed my bag and fished out my camera and handed it to me. 

"What are you waiting for?" 

And so began Project 365, a year in the life of Kourtney T. Smith. My world became about making moments, not waiting for them. I carried a camera everywhere. Each day required something worth snapping. Inspiration increased as days passed. My room was revamped, friendships were rekindled, new ones came into my life. Bartending jobs were aplenty as fruit was cut till my fingers were numb to the sting. I made it from over 1,000 applicants to the top 20 in the competition for the dream internship, STA World Traveler. I obtained the highest number of votes, more than the winners would end with after two extra months. STA hustled me through Skype asking "If you were with a host family and they put dog on the table would you eat it? Even if it had a name tag on it?" Upon elimination, I realized the immense support system that exists in my life, even after defeat and broken hearted-ness. Hungover in London after a night of eating pavement, I sipped my first Bloody Mary. Three months were spent living and working in Amsterdam at Hostelworld's #1, Cocomama. I nestled in an attic with a Brazilian version of myself, my other half. I stumbled across bags of marijuana and dildo boxes as I made beds and cleaned bathrooms. My calves and bum bulged from my bicycle and the 76 stairs I took up and down a gazillion times a day. I met hundreds of people who remembered me for my hospitality, many of which still pop in and out of my life. I may have already encountered my soulmate, the male version of me, just in the wrong place at the wrong time. I stood fascinated and enraged by Nazi demonstrations in Cologne and rode my first wave in Portugal. I said goodbye to my surfing career as I screamed and threw my two front teeth into the Atlantic. I told a man "I love you" for the first time and fell out of love just the same. I agreed to settle in NY for a good deal of time as I embarked on my grad school chapter, teaching English to speakers of other languages. I taught my first lesson and concluded that I'm doing exactly what I'm meant to be doing with my life. Victory was mine when my 4.0 was revealed. I fell in love with life in Brooklyn and evolved into the most independent and self sufficient version of myself to date. The proof is in the pictures.

Let go of the past, say goodbye to the teeth, and live for the now.

After 365 days, I've compiled a year's worth of memories, all documented. My drive and determination have doubled and continue to grow with every day. Throughout the project, I've managed to interest people in my life. People I haven't spoken to in years have reached out, informing me they look forward to my photos. I've inspired others to take more pictures, book a trip, write, and do more with the opportunity of life they've been given. What was once an effort to make life more exciting, became a crusade for inspiration and grabbing life by the balls, realizing time is precious and life doesn't wait for anyone. 

So why stop now? 365 days have passed but there are many more to come. The waves I've created are just the beginning in my quest. There's so much left to explore, conquer, and share. Life is my passion and I do it with poise, style, and Bloody Marys. There's no stopping me now. After all, a ginger's balls of steel are forever.